Monday, October 5, 2009

"What's it all about, Alfie?"

This song title has been running through my head recently- it takes me back to days long past when it sang forth from my parents' radio and record player.  I finally took the time to listen to a few versions on YouTube and do love Barbra Streisand's.  Have yourself a listen....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVQSj0AFIyk

Life is funny - in an ironic way.  I have many "log jams" in my life ready to burst.  That said, I found myself heading into today feeling excited even though I knew it would pose a number of challenges that are far bigger than a typical day's dose.  "Hooray for me", I exclaimed to my dear spouse this morning - "I have a tough day ahead and I actually feel grounded, ready and happy."  In addition to teaching little people and attending an IT training session, I was required to make phone calls to my lawyer and to my daughter's school - all before 11:30 a.m.  Tick, tick, tick - all done and relatively stress-free at that.

I couldn't pat myself on the back, however, because during the same "productive" morning, I ripped open my wrist on the corner of my classroom window as I was pulling across a curtain - ouch!  I'm not sure when I last cut myself like that - it was all I could do not to cry in front of a bunch of 3- and 4-year-olds! 

I arrived home a few hours later to a frustrated teenaged daughter.  "Who let the dogs out of the basement?", she asked?  She had just spent half an hour cleaning up a giant mess - picture chewed up bathroom waste, shreds and stains, in addition to dog poop scattered through the upstaris bedrooms (where the dogs are not even allowed to go).  How can dogs who are 8, 9 and 10 years old and generally well-behaved even think to do that?  (Does anyone want a free dog - including one who has chewed some of her leg stitches out, resulting in a big hole that the vet is going to give me a lecture about...?)  Needless to say I owe my daughter big-time.  I could not have dealt with that mess as a home-coming surprise!

So... happy, grounded, efficient me found herself feeling flat, exhausted, drained, sore and fed-up by 5:00 p.m.  What is it all about???  Today's conclusion -it's not really about anything.  Life just keeps rolling along, we need to continue to choose to be happy if that's what we want, and we need to actively keep the stations in our brain tuned to the channels we want to watch.  My reality check:  healthy family, great job, people who I care about that care about me, dogs that I wouldn't actually give away for anything, food in the cupboard, cars in the driveway, appliances that work, and a wound that is merely a flesh wound after all.

I do maintain that life is ironic - a theme I plan to visit at greater depth some day soon.  However, I always hang on to the thought that "the universe is unfolding as it should".  Our task is to keep our attention on the channels that are life-enhancing and continue to put one foot in front of the other.

Cheers!

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