Sunday, February 27, 2011


The past four months have offered up a number of situations in my family members' relationships which have resulted in endings.  These include both deaths and break-ups.  The net effect is that people who were in our midst are now gone. 

Two of my children have lost dear friends since November.  The deaths were sudden and tragic.  I never met either young man or members of either family.  I find myself deeply saddened for their parents and sisters and for all of their friends, my own children included.  These young men are simply gone now, leaving nothing but echos of their lives and spirits in the hearts and minds of those who knew them - and those who did not.

Three long-standing romantic relationships have been terminated this month amongst our children and  friends.  Each relationship ended for the right reasons and each ending is justifiable at this point in time.  What the future holds remains uncertain.  Once again,  people who have shared our table, our celebrations, our stories, our hearts and our minds are gone.  There was no opportunity to say good-bye to these dear ones, to wish them well, to thank them for the time that we shared by extension.  Much like a sudden, unexpected death, people who matter are now simply gone.  What if I wanted them back?  My feelings and attachments are of no consequence; these were not my primary relationships.  I am simply to let go, to hand these people over to the land of 'gone'.

I am feeling an accumulated weight of sadness concerning these deaths and relationship endings.  I believe the large number of events over a relatively short period of time is a strong factor. It is so clear to me now that our lives send out innumerable ripples that touch the lives of others beyond our reckoning.  We take turns making the waves and being bounced by them.  It all happens in varying degrees and without ceasing.   We are left to hope in times of loss and sadness for the restoration of peace and happiness.  We are not permitted to turn back time and reclaim that which is gone.  Instead, we are charged with accepting these changes and getting back to the business of living.

"You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone."  That's for sure!

Wondering Woman