I teach Kindergarten. Teaching kindergarten allows me to think that for a few hours every day, I walk on water and am the centre of the universe. It is truly a delightful job if it is one's calling; if not, teaching kindergarten can be a fate worse than death. My ego seems to enjoy the "centre of the universe" aspects of the job in some measure. I get to allow my inner child that I never outgrew to connect with forty dear, sweet, earnest little people (and they are little!) every day and the school board actually pays me to do this - how lucky am I???
In contrast, I live with teenagers. Depending on the day, there are five teenagers in my family at home at this time. Two have just returned from university for Thanksgiving week-end. Teenagers are very different from 3-, 4- and 5-year-olds. They definitely do not think that I walk on water or that I am the centre of the universe (darn!). In their quest for autonomy, I frequently present as problematic and embarassing in their lives rather than the singular adult upon whom the sun rises and falls. I would rather leave teaching than teach teenagers - which says far more about me than it does about them. I couldn't cope and I know it.
Life with teenagers challenges me to frequently remember where I was at at the same age. There really is nothing new under the sun. I have seen it and been it all before. However, this knowledge does not always help me to warm up to our kids and their attitudes and behaviours. I am cursed with a temperment that is judgemental with a capital J! (Perhaps I am simply a judge who is mental?!)
So, here is the happy part of my wonderings and ponderings this evening. At 9:00 p.m., there were seven (count 'em - seven!!) teenagers with me at our dining room table, chatting merrily, getting reconnected after time away for some at university, laughing, hurling insults, and savouring each other's company. My husband was toiling over leaking turkey "juice" (ugh!) in the refrigerator and my mom was helping my daughter to prepare bread for tomorrow's turkey stuffing. Chaos, comraderie, family, friends, and love. In all aspects of life, we are reminded to "take the good with the bad". This evening, it was all good. For that I am very thankful! Welcome home, teenagers!
(This post is dedicated to David, Matthew, Olivia, Katie, Emily, Suzanne and Mikaela - all ranging in age from 13 to 19 - with love and thanks!)
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I love that..."a judge who is mental!"
ReplyDeleteYou can't possibly be the "bad kind" of judgemental if you are so aware of it. That's one of the things I love about you--your self-awareness! I think it's important that we be a little judgemental as parents; it's what separates us from our kids, and they NEED to separate from us. If we accept everything they say and do, we are in essence being teenagers ourselves, and I think kids and teenagers need for us to act like "adults" so that they can rebel (which is really just a fancy term for their assertion of their "separateness") So, in other words, don't ever criticize yourself for being judgemental...you're doing a GREAT job! Despite being SO outnumbered !!! Hooray for you!! xoxoxo